Highlands trip

Writing about web page http://www.dcs.warwick.ac.uk/~ant/highlands.html

I have tried to capture the essence of our recent trip to the Highlands with a selection of photos. Enjoy!

(Plenty of stories to tell when you next see me!)

Last day in Finland

You might think that it is quite dull and lonely if you are in a foreign city on your own with nothing to do. But not if you have genes that I have…

I woke up after 9am, showered, and prepared myself for the cold. My stomach was still nicely satisfied from the evening meal, so I thought I would get some brunch while I was out. I had circled all the places on my map that I thought would be worth visiting, such that I could do a walking tour of the city, and then I set off. I walked around the harbour, visited the first of many churches, then down to the president's palace, where I watched the changing of the guard — these guys must be super patient standing around in the freezing weather!

Next I walked up to the Senate Square, one of the main attractions in the city, with the cathedral as the centre piece of the square. Not particularly big for the capital city's most important religious building (I think it is probably smaller than Ely cathedral), but quite an impressive structure which can been seen from all over the city. All the buildings in this area are a similar style and it is very pretty — I especially like the cobble/brick streets, and the trams! In true Japanese tourist style I spent a bit of time taking random photos, quite a few with trams in the background. I wish we had more trams in England.

(Do not let the blue sky give you any misconceptions about the air temperature!)

While I was here I got talking to a Mexican guy who became my travel buddy for the day. He was quite a character, and had been travelling around Europe, with quite a few stories to tell — mainly involving the opposite sex. We set off to see some sites together and walked past a couple of art galleries which were closed, and then on to the national musuem. That was also closed, at which point we started to see a trend: they close on Mondays. Still we set off on a long walk to see some other sights, including the Sibelius Monument.

We also went to another church (as they were open!) and visited more of the old part of town. After several hours of walking around we were tired, and, more importantly, freezing! So we headed to the shopping area and found ourselves a nice coffee shop where we could watch the world go by (or should I say: watch the girls go by).

I headed back to my hostel late in the afternoon and spent a bit of time defrosting in preparation for my first meal of the day. A Mexican restaurant had been recommended to me, and so I headed off into the city again to find it. However, on the way I happened to pass a Thai restaurant. The one I had past the previous night didn't look all that Thai, but this one looked quite good and I spied a Thai-looking woman from the window. Before I knew it, my legs had automatically carried me into the restaurant! It was a quiet little place, with three friendly Isahn women running it. I immediately got chatting to them and they were quite interested to hear what a Thai-speaking English guy was doing in Helsinki. I could even hear them nin-tah-ing about me in the kitchen! It was a great meal, and I spent a couple of hours there chatting over a cup of coffee afterwards. As I left I wondered how I always seem to meet Thai people no matter where I go in the world.

Now I am back at the hostel preparing to leave tomorrow morning. I have heard it is not much warmer in England, and given that they don't have saunas, I am not in a rush to get back. I really can't understand why we don't have saunas in England — we definitely need them in winter! Also, the fact that I have now found some great food in Finland proves that I could probably live here after all. Snow and saunas are a great combination — I will be back again!

More Helsinki photos

No more bread and cheese

I arrived in Helsinki, immediately jumped on a tram and easily found the hostel that I had booked. The most important thing next was to eat. I surveyed the plentiful literature on Helsinki that had kindly been left in my room, and I decided that my body could no longer bare pure carbohydrates for sustainance. I identified a number of Chinese/Thai/Asian restaurants in a particular area of town and I set off in that direction. This was a great idea, as I quickly worked where the main areas of the city are, and also how the public transport works. They are almost too organised these Finns. Once I located my target street, I quickly assessed the options and picked the cheapest, most basic looking chinese restaurant. They had a great vegetarian choice (for Finland) and my szechuan tofu and fried rice was ready in no time at all. It was delicious. I think I might have already eaten the last bread and cheese for this trip.

Koli conference ends

Writing about web page http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/aharfield/gallery/finland_2/

More snow had fallen overnight and I was reluctant to leave the cosy Hotel Koli with its fine views and relaxing saunas. As always, time goes too quickly.

Yesterday was a busy one with presentations the whole day, except for a little break in the afternoon. This was an opportunity to explore the area of the national park. I set off suitably unprepared, but quickly found a route following a path through the trees. It was a long walk in the ice and snow, more great views which culminated in a climb up to the summit once again. After the afternoon presentations it was time for our third portion of oil and carbohydrate. Then came the best part of the day: sauna time. We spent several hours in the sauna, taking regular breaks in the jacuzzi and occasionally rolling around in the snow outside. The Finns call this making 'snow angels'.

This morning saw the closing presentation of the conference, we packed our bags and caught the bus back to Joensuu. The drive was quite entertaining — it seems that snow doesn't mean that you have to slow down! Once in Joensuu, I caught the first train to Helsinki. Now I have a day to explore this city!

Koli conference begins

After 18 hours of travelling, I was pleased to arrive in Koli up in the northern Karelia region of Finland, especially as there was a thin layer of snow on the ground. The temperature was well below freezing and my body was just happy to have a shower and go to bed. I was very hungry as the only food I had eaten all day had been on the flight: KLM food, what more can I say? My housemates had advised me to bring instant noodles, but I hadn't, and even if I had there was no kettle in the room — some of you know what I mean!

I woke up early, very hungry, and I was one of the first up for breakfast. I had half expected (and half hoped) that we might have had some special hot continental breakfast. As I think Karl Popper would agree, learning only occurs when something unexpected happens. I have learnt that you should never underestimate the Finnish need for bread and cheese at any time of day. However, I did manage to brew myself a half decent cup of tea — with milk! I also discovered some warm porridge which, when taken with tea, was enough to start my day. I ate breakfast overlooking the trees and lakes surrounding Koli. This is one of the highest places in this region and, on a clear day, you can see trees all the way to the horizon. When I went back to my room and opened my curtains, I discovered that I had a lovely view too.

The morning session of the conference passed quickly with some excellent talks, and I was ready once again when lunchtime arrived. I am not really sure what it was that I ate, but it involved mash potato and salad. After my carbohydrate fix, I set off in the cold to walk up to the summit of Koli, just a short walk from the hotel. It was particularly pleasant even with the small amount of snow that was covering the trees. My hands were a bit cold as I didn't bring any gloves, so when I got back to the hotel I had to buy a pair, also at great expense.

The afternoon session was long, and unfortunately my presentation was the last of the day, by which time everyone was getting quite sleepy. I think a few people were conscious for a few moments of the talk. Anyway, after that it was dinner, which was another feast of carbohydrates for us vegetarians. My main course consisted of potatoes, swede and carrots, with a tiny amount of sauce that appeared to be the leftovers from the mushroom soup we had for starters. Warwick people: I am dreaming about eating rice with you on Tuesday already!

After the meal though, we went to do what Finnish people do best: saunas. I discovered that there are as many saunas in Finland as there are women. I spent an hour moving between the hot sauna and the cool jacuzzi — it was great. Most people were drinking beer, but I was happy just to enjoy this chance to relax. After my body was completely shrivelled I retired to my room for the night.

Finland: take two

It was another early start, the same as last time, to begin the journey to Finland. My flight from Birmingham at 6pm, I had to be up before dawn, and the coldest day of the year was there to greet me. How pleasant the views were this time taking-off as the sun was rising on the horizon — the lights of London twinkling as those vacant expression-less city workers haed for the tube.

Sleep reigned over the majority of the journey as little can be recalled of the transfer in Schipol International Airport, except that the flight to Helsinki was delayed. Mental note: I must visit Amsterdam sometime; this is my third passing through Amsterdam without stepping out the airport. Each time I have thought that the Dutch are at least as disorganised as me — it must be the weed.

On arriving in Helsinki I noticed a distinct change in scenery. Two months ago it had been all green with trees but now the leaves are gone on all but the toughest Christmas trees. Winter is setting in. Just looking outside gave me the chills. Although there is no snow, there is an icy look about the trees, the roads, the lakes, and even the people. Once I stepped outside I knew why: one o'clock in the afternoon and the temperature is below freezing. Now where is my hat?

I headed off to the train station, bought my ticket, and then began wandering around as I had done two months ago. I didn't find an adaptor for my laptop (as I forgot to bring one), but I passed the same coffee shop and found the same cute girl working there as last time. I went in and ordered an extortionately-priced, miniscule-sized cappuccino. She didn't remember me. I decided she wasn't that cute after all.

The train to Joensuu departed just before 4pm, by which time it was getting dark. I had made sure I left the coffee shop at the last possible moment to minimise the time spent in the cold. I played it just right, the train arrived minutes after I found the platform. Once again I was on the top deck of a double decker train. It was fairly full, and quite warm which was by far the most important feature. As I sat contemplating the five hour journey ahead, I wondered if the sauna would be open when I finally arrived at the hotel.

After some period of time, I don't know how long as I have learnt to ignore time on long journeys, I gazed out of the window to find a white covering on the ground. It was a pleasant surprise, but unfortunately short-lived, for the next stop had no sign of snow. I hoped that they had some snow in Koli — the location of the conference and one of Finland's most famous national parks. It would be at least another hour on a bus after I arrived at Joensuu. I hoped that the sauna was still open!

To keep me entertained, and warm — the temperature was getting noticeably less comfortable — I took a walk down to the food cart. Not much option, so I ordered a coffee. I didn't have the patience to try my hand at the liquid substance they call 'tea' here. It doesn't have the same qualities as the mighty drink by the same name that powers the British empire. However, warm and refreshed, I returned to my seat and gazed out into the darkness where an expanse of trees lay under the (near) full moon of loykratong.

Varieties of concretisation

Plan for presentation

1. Introduction + plan of attack


2. The motivation for concretisation


3. A case study: (a) background (b) aims of jugs


4. A real physical concretisation


5. A software concretisation


6. A robotics concretisation


7. An EM concretisation


8. Comparing concretisations


9. Concretisation by physical artefacts


10. Concretisation by the JUGS program


11. The LEGO JUGS concretisation


12. The EM jugs model as a concretisation


13. Conclusion

Winter has arrived

Those moments I enjoyed outside a cafe on Sunday in the warm sunshine seem a distant memory. The last couple of days the weather has been slowly deteriorating and I sit here in a nice warm office contemplating the wind, rain and falling temperature outside. My work is nearly done here, and in a couple of hours I will be heading to the train station to go to Helsinki, and then catching a plane back to England in the early hours of tomorrow morning. It has been a very brief trip, just enough to give me a taste of Finland, and it has been very enjoyable. I am already planning a longer trip for next year, and you can guarantee that the first place I will be heading will be the sauna and the lake!

I will be back in England tomorrow morning, and probably the first thing I will be doing is having a real cup of tea — with milk!

The real Finnish experience

As I rode my bicycle to the University yesterday morning, I realised that winter had suddenly arrived. The previous day, although cool, I had been enjoying the afternoon sunshine in my t-shirt, and now I was cycling in a blisteringly cold wind that was penetrating my jacket and jumper. On the plus side, I had mastered the art of Finnish bicycles.

After a full day at the University, that included one giving a seminar about ones research, I was treated to a real Finnish experience. Professor Erkki took me on a trip, with some of his students, out into the countryside. The city of Joensuu already feels like the countryside, as it seems quieter than my local town in England, but we really did find a more deserted spot. We travelled north of Joensuu to the national park area of Koli. This area was previously as high as the himalayas, but over thousands of years it has sunk into the ground to form a mass of lakes (and of course, trees).

First we walked up to the highest point, a mere 300 meters, to get a view of the real Finnish landscape. Impressive indeed, especially to imagine that in a couple of months the lakes will be frozen, the snow will have fallen, and the whole colour of the landscape will change from the green of the trees to snowy white. It was also perfect timing for the sunset, and we wandered around at the top for a short while watching the sun slowly setting. I was reminded of the sunset in Taiwan, but this was something quite different given that we were all alone at the top of a mountain with miles and miles of uninhabited forest and lakes all around us.

The temperature was considerably colder than the 'city', so we headed down to Erkki's cabin right on the edge of the lake. Erkki mentioned about a swim, to which I jokingly replied 'why not'! Next thing is that we are preparing a sauna. The Finns are famous for their saunas, they usually take them at least once a week, and apparently there are 2.5 million saunas in Finland — a country with only 5 million people. The traditional method is to move between the sauna and the lake, or if the lake is frozen then you can just roll around in the snow. Whilst waiting for the sauna to warm up, we made a fire and cooked some sausages (which I declined) and drank some tea to prepare us for the crazyness that would surely follow. After an hour, just Erkki, Ilkka, and myself headed for the sauna. It was very satisfying to throw water on the stones and then wait for the heat to hit you. Once we were sure our bodies were fully cooked, we stumbled down to the lake in the darkness. My body had already cooled down before I reached the water. The lake was very shallow and so we had to walk in a fair way. My feet froze immediately and I thought that this must be the coldest water I had ever experienced — it made the British sea feel like a hot spring. Erkki was wallowing around in the water, so in a moment of craziness, I threw myself into the water. Screaming followed. The next moment I regained my consciousness, I was out of the water and luckily my legs were running towards the sauna. Moments later the steam returned my body to a more natural temperature. The feeling was great. After another 20 minutes in the sauna, Erkki suggested we do it again. Slightly less screaming this time. By the third time I was starting to get used to it, and actually the thrill was quite enjoyable. Definitely more exciting than any rollercoaster that I have tried.

After the sauna we had another cup of tea, and prepared to head back to the city. As we left, looking up to the sky, we watched the northern lights. These are truly spectacular, especially for me as it was the first time I had ever seen them. It was the end to an amazing night and a great introduction to Finnish culture.

More photos

The land of trees

I am now in Finland, proving that PhD life is about travelling around, meeting people, and stimulating exciting research. I am quite good at the first two, but the third is more difficult!

As the plane landed in Helsinki on Sunday afternoon, the first thing I noticed was the shear volume of trees in this country. The scenery looks particularly pleasing from the air because of so few built-up areas. I made my way to the train station, after a kind lady got me on the right bus, and arrived in plenty of time before the next train. I wandered around what seemed like a ghost town — I guessed that it was quiet because it was Sunday. The weather though was quite warm, with beautiful sunshine, and I sat drinking a coffee whilst adding to my Taiwanese and English tan. I felt pleased that I hadn't brought many clothes.

The train pulled up on-time and looking very big and shiny. This train was a double-decker! I got on and began looking for my seat, walking through nice restaurant areas and what looked like first class. However, by the time I found my seat, which was on the top deck, I realised that the whole train looked like first class — so this was obviously the standard in Finland. I was impressed. It was spacious, comfy, and quick too. Then I remembered the cost of the ticket: over 100 euros for a return (nearly £70) and so I decided the trains should be good at this price!

I arrived in Joensuu at 9pm and was met by a professor and a researcher that I had met in Taiwan. On the train I had observed trees for 5 hours, interspersed with the occasional lake, and then watched the sunset through the trees on the horizon. If Thailand is the land of smiles, then Finland is definitely the land of trees.

Next day we went to the University, I got a quick tour and was introduced to more people than whose names I can recall. We soon got down to some 'stimulating research', but I won't bore you with that. The only exciting thing was that I got thrown into a meeting to give some demonstrations in the afternoon. In the evening we had a little party and played a game that I will introduce to you Warwick people when I get back. ;)

Before I begin my 'stimulating research' today, I must tell you about my experience of Finnish bicycles. Yesterday, we rode bicycles to University — they are much more common in Finland than in England, and the paths are very big to make room for both pedestrians and cycles. So I was going to borrow a bicycle and was given a key to unlock it. Well I took a look at the bicycle and it appeared to already be unlocked, so I just stood around waiting. My friend looked at me a bit strange and told me I needed to unlock it. What lock? It turns out that nearly all bicycles have a lock built-in to the rear wheel — very compact and clever! After this I was on my way, and heading down a hill so I squeezed the single brake. Nothing happened. This worried me a little, so I dragged my feet along the floor to slow down and eventually came to stop before the junction. I probably would have not said anything had I been in Thailand, but I was surprised that these clever Finns rode bicycles with no brakes. As we were riding along the next rode I told Ilkka that the brakes were not very good on this bike (British understatement of the year). "Try pedaling backwards", he said. Sure enough, I came to an abrupt stop. Fiendishly clever these Finns!

Photographic evidence

Writing about web page http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/aharfield/gallery/taiwan/

Here are a few photos from Taiwan.

Final thoughts

I arrived back in England yesterday morning and the first surprise was the refreshing cool morning air. I enjoyed the view flying into Birmingham as seeing the countryside felt like home. Although I have been keeping myself busy since then, I still find myself craving little things in Taiwan. I am constantly wondering what to eat, looking for snacks, and I have yet to cook a proper meal. Tea consumption has not yet returned to its normal level — instead I am missing the many different iced teas and juices that I became accustomed to in Taiwan. I also went for a drive in the car today, and all I can say is that it is no where near as fun as a motorcycle in Kaohsiung.

I had a really good time in Taiwan. The conference was a splendid event, very well organised and has stimulated plenty of new ideas for me. The summer school was particularly good as I met so many lovely people who I look forward to working with in the future. The remaining few days were a real treat. I was able to experience life in Kaohsiung, and this really made me want to stay for a lot longer. I had my fair share of adventures, some interesting, some challenging, and some that were just plain funny! I enjoyed them all. Kaohsiung, I am missing you already.

Lovely Warwick people in Taipei

It was great to see to friendly Warwick faces, and even better to hear a language that I could understand. It was pretty confusing for the first hour as we were all mixed up with Thai, English and Chinese, but we soon converged to Thai so that we could 'nin tah farang' — gossip about foreigners! After checking into a hotel we headed out on the underground (or MRT). Once again the electronic sign in the train amused me. This time it had a message in English as you get off the tube: "Thank you for your patronage." Now I know my English is not that strong, but I am fairly sure that riding the tube doesn't imply that you have patronage. Maybe someone can explain?

We visited lots of great places for eating, drinking and shopping — I did all three. By 9am, whilst eating ice-shavings and mango (man gua bing), we were wondering what to do the following day. When it was suggested that we visit the hot springs, Lyn said we could do it that evening. After a couple of phone calls we set off across town — Thai girls are so motivated — in search of the hot springs. We found one open in a posh hotel and rushed in to make the most of the little time we had left. It was my first experience hot springs, and what a pleasurable one it was — the water was a very relaxing 43 degrees. I managed to tolerate the heat for nearly an hour before I took a cold shower and we left the hot springs feeling completely refreshed.

The next morning I checked out of the hotel and set off with Lyn to the National Palace Museum. But not before two cups of soya milk. The museum has an extensive collection of Buddha images from all over Asia — even if most of them had been stolen at some point in time. Next stop, after some iced tea and veggie buns, was the Longshan Temple. This famous temple is a confusing mix of Buddhist and Confucian images where we paid our respects to not only the Buddha, but gods of knowledge, money and [most importantly] love. I have been very confused in Taiwan about what sort of Buddhism is here. The conclusion I am coming to is that there is very little real Buddhism being practiced. It has been absorbed by worship and superstition. I have seen glimpses that there are places were monks actually meditate, but it is so mixed up with blind-faith that I feel it is far removed from the way that we practice. The Taiwanese don't seem to know much about Buddhism, unlike Thailand where everyone shows an interest in the practical aspects of the teachings, even if they don't understand it well. I guess some Buddhist culture has been lost as Taiwan become more like the Western world. We should always be aware of the negative effects of globalisation — it dilutes cultures.

Back in Taipei and a big lunch was in order to prepare me for the long flight. After this we headed back to Lyn's place to pick up my things and take a quick shower, before setting off for the airport. I had to say goodbye to Gate, but Lyn escorted me to the airport. When I arrived there was a long queue for checking-in. After 30 minutes I had moved near the front, but then everything stopped and there seemed to be a bit of a panic on. It turned out that there was a mechanical problem on the aircraft and it had to be cancelled. Myself and poor Lyn waited a couple of hours before they got me tickets on an EVA Air flight to Paris at midnight, and a connecting flight to Birmingham. In that time I met a guy who lived in Warwick — strange how you can travel halfway around the world and meet someone who lives just down the road. I had a long wait so I went with Lyn to find the best restaurant in the airport and spend my remaining paper money, as well as thank Lyn for waiting for me. After the meal I sent her off to get a bus back to the city. I found some other Thai people to chat to in the airport for a couple of hours. They told me their exciting story that they worked as magicians, employed by a disrespectful boss in Taiwan, who had escaped because their boss treated them unfairly. We had a good laugh and they tried to teach me some black magic. Before long it was time for me to board the EVA flight, which was much better than KLM — the airhostesses smile!

Taiwanese Trains

I took the train at 9am and struggled to find my seat carrying my heavy gift-laden luggage. I sat next to a pretty girl who I managed to say a few words of Chinese to, but then she got off at the next stop! That left me with little entertainment except for the electronic sign which announced the next station in Chinese. The only English that it proclaimed was the following insightful message: "Railway crossings are extremely dangerous. If you see a car stuck on a crossing, press the emergency button located on the warning rod. Only press this button in case of emergencies." This sign had me confused for ages. How could anyone on the train see if a car was stuck on the crossing before hitting it? Even if they did encounter such an event, I couldn't find the 'warning rod' anywhere!

The Taiwanese seem to be very safety conscious, which I hadn't expected for an Asian country. They wouldn't dream of crossing the road anywhere except a pedestrian crossing, and even then they always wait for the green man. I guess they have inherited this fear from the Americans.

Back to the train journey and my next entertainer was an insane guy who sat next to me. He was continually talking to himself, like complaining about things, and occasionally he would shout at some kids to be quiet. Luckily he didn't stay for long, and afterwards I was able to get a bit of sleep. When I woke up near Taipei there was a friendly woman sat next to me. We had a little chat and as we got off the train she helped me find my way to the exit and let me use her phone to locate Lyn and Gate who were waiting to pick me up.

Last day in Kaohsiung

My final day in Kaohsiung was a busy one. In the morning I visited the famous Fo Guan Shan temple on the side of a mountain with its thousands of Buddha images. Back in the city for lunch and an extremely large portion of vegetarian dumplings. Next I headed to the university where I borrowed a motorcycle and took off on my own to do some shopping. I couple of hours later, when they were all worried I was lost, I returned to the university. Then I was taken to the department store by Prof David Yang who very kindly bought me some Taiwanese tea to bring back to England. By this time the sun was beginning to set which marked the beginning of my last night in Kaohsiung and therefore the last chance to fill my belly with delicious snacks. It was a very special night which included dinner at the night market, drinks at the former British Consulate overlooking the harbour, a motorcycle ride halfway up a mountain, soya dessert at another night market, and finally, mango by the lotus lake. I returned home very late and set my alarm for 6am to pack my bags ready for the journey up to Taipei.

My orange motorcycle

The day after my climb, I woke up early again to set off to the beach. I met up with the lovely Jia-zhen and we set off with some friends to Kenting. Another long drive, but this time in a smart car at speed, and we arrived at this famous tourist spot in the south. The sea looked great, but as is normal in Asia, we must eat first. After our lunch, we found cheap (but very friendly) hotel to dump our bags and then we hired a motorcycle.

In case I hadn't mentioned this before, last week I learnt to ride a motorcycle. Well actually, I didn't really get any tuition, I just experimented (Empirical Modelling style!) and found it to be quite easy. The difficult part is when you introduce other vehicles to the road, and traffic lights, and odd driving conventions (like when you need to turn left you have to go right first and then wait to go straight on). I once got asked if I have an international driving licence, and I said, "Yes, of course, I have a British licence". As the week went on I began to get more confident at this city driving and now there are few people that overtake me. I can't wait to try my skills in Bangkok!

Anyway, back to the story, we hired a motorcycle. Not just any motorcycle though, I managed to get hold of the funkiest, gayest, bright orange scooter you every did see! I became my friend and we went everywhere together. I even took it for what was a 2 minute walk to the beach. So we spent the rest of the afternoon under an umbrella on the beach, occasionally jumping out into the blistering sunshine for a dip in the sea. The water was quite rough for the Taiwanese, although nothing like Burton Bradstock can be. As soon as I got past the rollers I start going for a good swim. Within moments there was a whistle blowing at me and some old guy was waving me to come back. He looked quite agitated so I obliged his request and returned to the shore. I couldn't quite understand if he was a lifeguard because he didn't look like he had the ability to swim. The water was lovely though, fairly clear despite being rough — perfect for swimming. I didn't spend too long before getting back underneath the umbrella and cooling off with some iced tea.

For dinner we went to the vegetarian restaurant, and then wandered around the busy night market. There were plenty of snacks on offer, and I did my best to sample as many as my stomach could handle. I must recommend the fried mushrooms — I don't know what they are called but they really are amazing. I also had another of my favourites, pearl milk tea, and a selection of sugary sour plums before giving up for the night. A walk along the beach watching the stars finished the day off perfectly.

The next day we woke up late and had a kind of brunch which included warm soya milk. Then we boarded the cute orange motorcycle and headed off along the coast, stopping at various viewing areas and the occasional beach. They were all very quiet and unspoilt. However, my skin was beginning to get spoilt. I had made the big foreigner mistake of not bringing lots of clothes to cover my skin — let alone sun-screen! I knew I was burning up so I went for the shade and some coconut juice. On the ride home, the sun continuously battered my arms, and likewise, having honed my driving skills, I battered the motorcycle driving it flat-out through the country roads. Great fun!

By the evening, my skin was a little bit sore, but we ventured out to watch the sun go down. We drove right out into the middle of nowhere to a place that had been recommended to us. I was worried at one point that we were lost, but then we turned a corner and there were hundreds of motorcycles and cars. It appeared that half of Taiwan had turned out to see the sunset. These people really do go crazy for sunsets. So we watched, with the masses, as the sun disappeared into the sea. The people cheered and took photos — anyone would think this only happens once every hundred years.

Back in the town, we went for a Thai meal — which I ate with chopsticks! Then it was another walk around the night market, including snacks, before riding home on my orange motorcycle.

Climbing a mountain

Last week I was pretty busy with the conference, and even busier going out in the evening. On Thursday night we had the conference banquet at the Grand Hotel. Indeed it was 'grand'. A very posh place, with an even more impressive buffet — I have some photos!

Friday was the final day of the conference, so we said our goodbyes in the afternoon and the evening a few of us went up the 85-floor tower again. The band were there again, playing some quality tunes to accompany the romantic image of Kaohsiung city at night. When they played 'Killing me softly', I was starting to think this was the most perfect place to spend an evening.

I arrived home pretty late, to find everyone in bed and to be given the news that tomorrow we would leave at 6am to climb a mountain. I was not in the mood for sleeping, and I had to force myself to get a few hours rest before rising again. As usual I had no idea what I had let myself in for, but as ever I was optimistic that this would be an interesting (and unpredictable) day. We set off on what was to be a long drive, having met a couple of Canadians who would join us, and got a quick bite to eat at a local street seller — my favourite: soya milk and red bean buns.

The journey was long, and reminded me of the Mexican roads in Baha California. Once out of the city we were in the mountains for several hours, on twisting mountain-edge roads, before reaching our chosen mountain named Taguan — reaching 3220 metres into the clouds. The roads were not as bad as Mexico, but the mountain path was more of a challenge. We started off at a good pace, but soon we slowed down as our bodies complained at the lack of oxygen. My head was pretty light for the whole climb, and although the air temperature was cooler than the city, there were sections in direct sunlight which I could feel were burning my skin. As we got higher, the climbing got more difficult, the path got narrower, and we seemed to be getting closer and closer to the edge. There were places were the path seemed to be on edge of hundreds of metres of nothingness. The view was spectacular though! It took us over 2 hours to reach the summit of Taguan, by which time we were completely in the clouds and couldn't see much. It was colder than England up there, so we ate snacks to keep warm and other climbers offered us coffee. We didn't hang around too long before beginning the descent. This was slightly less demanding than the climb except that it was quite stressful for the knees — and my flip-flops! Most of the Taiwanese were pretty impressed that I accomplished the climb in flop-flops as most of them looked like they were going to climb everest.

It was a great feeling to reach the bottom again, and I celebrated by eating plenty of food. The drive home was long and by the time I got back I was ready for an early night.

A quick dip in the ocean

Last Friday we went on a trip to Tainan, a historical city on the coast only an hour from Kaohsiung. The first place we visited was a large Confucian temple, where I learnt a great deal about this great guy — I would have definitely been one of his disciples given the chance! Next we visited an odd Chinese Buddhist temple, which seems to be run by a Tibetan. I am still having great trouble trying to work out what the differences between all these temples are — I have also seen temples for the dead, temples for important people, but not many 'normal' Buddhist temples with monks and nuns. And I haven't met anyone that is interested in Buddhism (and speaks English) that can explain it to me.

After visiting the former British Consulate and a British built lighthouse on Thursday, we visited another European style building that was originally a town hall and now is a museum. By this time, we were clearly in need of some lunch, so we were ferried to [what we were told was] the best elementary school in Taiwan. It was very posh, and we felt like royalty as we rolled up and everyone started clapping. Next, the mayor of Tainan came to join us for lunch and gave us a warm welcome. He even gave me his business card — I guess so I can call him up sometime for a cup of iced tea. Actually, I have a whole bag of business cards which I am wondering what to do with. After lunch, we were given a tour of the school which is quite impressive. They were very thorough in showing us absolutely everything: 'this is the classroom for 3rd grade students, and this is the classroom for 4th grade students, and this is a desk, and this a book, and a ruler'.

The previous day I had seen a beach, and at that time I didn't have any shorts or a towel. I wasn't going to make the same mistake again. So when we stopped at the beach in Tainan to have a 'quick' look at the sea, I was well prepared. When I told them I was going for a swim, they were so surprised — actually I was surprised that no one else had brought their swimming gear! I stripped off and had a lovely refreshing swim. It was so warm, I don't know how I will cope in the English sea after this.

Lovely Warwick people in Taipei

It was great to see to friendly Warwick faces, and even better to hear a language that I could understand. It was pretty confusing for the first hour as we were all mixed up with Thai, English and Chinese, but we soon converged to Thai so that we could 'nin tah farang' — gossip about foreigners! After checking into a hotel we headed out on the underground (or MRT). Once again the electronic sign in the train amused me. This time it had a message in English as you get off the tube: "Thank you for your patronage." Now I know my English is not that strong, but I am fairly sure that riding the tube doesn't imply that you have patronage. Maybe someone can explain?

We visited lots of great places for eating, drinking and shopping — I did all three. By 9am, whilst eating ice-shavings and mango (man gua bing), we were wondering what to do the following day. When it was suggested that we visit the hot springs, Lyn said we could do it that evening. After a couple of phone calls we set off across town — Thai girls are so motivated — in search of the hot springs. We found one open in a posh hotel and rushed in to make the most of the little time we had left. It was my first experience hot springs, and what a pleasurable one it was — the water was a very relaxing 43 degrees. I managed to tolerate the heat for nearly an hour before I took a cold shower and we left the hot springs feeling completely refreshed.

The next morning I checked out of the hotel and set off with Lyn to the National Palace Museum. But not before two cups of soya milk. The museum has an extensive collection of Buddha images from all over Asia — even if most of them had been stolen at some point in time. Next stop, after some iced tea and veggie buns, was the Longshan Temple. This famous temple is a confusing mix of Buddhist and Confucian images where we paid our respects to not only the Buddha, but gods of knowledge, money and [most importantly] love. I have been very confused in Taiwan about what sort of Buddhism is here. The conclusion I am coming to is that there is very little real Buddhism being practiced. It has been absorbed by worship and superstition. I have seen glimpses that there are places were monks actually meditate, but it is so mixed up with blind-faith that I feel it is far removed from the way that we practice. The Taiwanese don't seem to know much about Buddhism, unlike Thailand where everyone shows an interest in the practical aspects of the teachings, even if they don't understand it well. I guess some Buddhist culture has been lost as Taiwan become more like the Western world. We should always be aware of the negative effects of globalisation — it dilutes cultures.

Back in Taipei and a big lunch was in order to prepare me for the long flight. After this we headed back to Lyn's place to pick up my things and take a quick shower, before setting off for the airport. I had to say goodbye to Gate, but Lyn escorted me to the airport. When I arrived there was a long queue for checking-in. After 30 minutes I had moved near the front, but then everything stopped and there seemed to be a bit of a panic on. It turned out that there was a mechanical problem on the aircraft and it had to be cancelled. Myself and poor Lyn waited a couple of hours before they got me tickets on an EVA Air flight to Paris at midnight, and a connecting flight to Birmingham. In that time I met a guy who lived in Warwick — strange how you can travel halfway around the world and meet someone who lives just down the road. I had a long wait so I went with Lyn to find the best restaurant in the airport and spend my remaining paper money, as well as thank Lyn for waiting for me. After the meal I sent her off to get a bus back to the city. I found some other Thai people to chat to in the airport for a couple of hours. They told me their exciting story that they worked as magicians, employed by a disrespectful boss in Taiwan, who had escaped because their boss treated them unfairly. We had a good laugh and they tried to teach me some black magic. Before long it was time for me to board the EVA flight, which was much better than KLM — the airhostesses smile!

The first jie jie in Kaohsiung

After spending two whole days in Taiwan, I am starting to get settled in. It is a little frustrating that I don't know much Chinese, but still it is more than the other gwei zi (foreign ghosts). In true flashman style, I will surely have this figured by the end of the week. However, my poor communication skills are complimented, as ever, by charm and a sharp wit — the perfect combination for an adventure.

Late yesterday afternoon I returned to the hotel and, as surprising as it may seem, I did some work. I have never had the experience of working alone in a hotel room before, and I quicky decided it was not for me. Luckily, there is a slightly busier environment down in the lobby with a television and constantly playing fairy music. You know the jewelery boxes your little sister used to have that wound up and played that awful twinkling music while the fairy twirled around — that is what it is like, except that it is played through loud speakers. Then there is the wireless internet connection down here. Today it is working, but only for ten minute intervals. The only interesting thing down here is the people. I have been one of those annoying people that speaks to everyone — the receptionist gets asked a question about Chinese as often as the Internet goes down.

I went for several walks yesterday afternoon and evening. I was wandering around in the dark last night, and I found a temple. There was a nun there giving a talk, very passionately I may add. I did my best to get near to the inside of the temple, but I felt a bit nervous about going inside — I felt I was being watched. Which brings me to another point, as I walk around Kaohsiung I know I stand out as a foreigner, and I know everyone is secretly watching me, but very rarely does anyone look at me directly. Completely different to Thailand where you get looks and smiles, here everyone keeps their eyes under strict control. Once you get into a conversation there is no problem, but initial eye contact is a real problem. Anyway, I wandered around the streets a bit longer and then returned to the hotel to learn a couple more words from the receptionist before heading to bed.

This morning I headed down for breakfast, and without a word from the waitress we got served eggs, toast, ham, coffee and juice. Not quite what I was expecting, and hardly a match for the previous day, but I was still positive the rest of the day would bring good food. So positive I was, that I set out for a walk in search of something fresh. Luckily I didn't have to go far before I found a lively little market. I wandered about smiling like a confused foreigner before eventually buying some pineapple. Then I had the buzz — so I bought some lychees too. I already had enough fruit to keep me going for a couple of days, but as the day went on I ended up giving most of it away. After a bit more work in the morning, I took my supervisor and a friend we had made on a hunt for a vegetarian restaurant. As we meandered about the streets, I was trying to identify the chinese symbol for vegetarian. I couldn't. Next plan was to unleash a few words on unsuspecting street stall owners. This proved highly successful, and eventually I was directed to a very small vegetarian street vendor who had only a couple of tables — all of which were empty. I confidently strode over, and to my delight there were about 20 vegetarian dishes laid out. We were told to help ourselves and given rice and soup. The food was pretty good, but I am not sure Meurig and our friend were that impressed. Later on in the day, Meurig didn't come out for dinner, and our friend told me that she had been advised not to eat on the streets. I told them there was no way I was going to travel halfway around the world and go for a MacDonalds — a suggestion that had been made to me earlier!

As it happens, the evening meal was a great success. This time I was more cautious, and waited until we found a nice looking restaurant. It happened to be Japanese and I had a good feeling about it as soon as I entered. This was probably due to the cute waitress that was smiling — and speaking a little English! Until this point I had been very disappointed at the skirts in Taiwan, I had been here for two days and not one worth a second glance. But this was a real treat. I told her I was vegetarian and she said that she would order for me. She made a good choice too. The food was really good. By the time we left, I was full, with food, and excitement that Taiwanese girls might not be too crazy after all.

Passing through Bangkok, arriving in Taipei

As most of you know, I excitedly left the prestigious University of Warwick on Friday at lunchtime after a nice send-off lunch from Big Sis. I was flying with Meurig, my supervisor, from Birmingham International, which is a very nice airport — much calmer than the hustle-bustle of Heathrow and much closer too. I sat waiting for a short time, contemplating the long journey ahead. I knew it was going to challenge my stamina — although nothing could have prepared me for the news that we would touch down in Bangkok.

Flying on KLM is nothing special, compared to Thai Airways the hostesses are old, unattractive and in need of replacement as much as the planes. So the first stint of the journey landed us in Amsterdam, a place I would very much like to look around, but from the air it looks just like any other european country. After a couple of hours wait we boarded a 747 destined for Bangkok. After a long flight and a bit of sleep we touched down in the Land of Smiles, just to pick up some passengers. We had 30 minutes to disembark the plane and walk around the airport lounge. This was torture! I wanted to leave the airport, it felt like home, but I couldn't go anywhere. My experience was like going to Dorset and not visiting the beach. I was so close. The best I could do was wander around a duty free shop, say a few words in Thai to the assistant, raise a short smile, and then return to the plane. I couldn't even buy any mango.

By the time we set off for Taipei, I was physical tired and mentally drained of energy. I put my craving for Bangkok to one side and concentrated on learning some Chinese. The flight wasn't too long to Taipei, less than four hours and we arrived at 5.30pm local time. Meeting us at the airport were two of Meurig's old students who booked us into a nice hotel in the centre of Taipei (The Howard Hotel) and took us for dinner. This is when I started to get my energy back. The food was excellent, plenty of vegetarian options and proper chinese tea. It was 24 hours since I had left England, so I was pleased to replenish my vital organs. We ate a great selection of desserts which really wetted my appetite for staying in Taiwan.

Next we were taken on a whirlwind tour of Taipei taking in the world's largest building named Taipei 101 after the number of floors — an engineering masterpiece. We jumped into another taxi and headed to a park with a big building in it (— I don't know how else to describe it). After a little walk, and another taxi ride, we arrived at the night market. I was told before I left England that I must visit one of these, so I was doing quite well for my first night. The night market is a busy place where you can buy pretty much anything, but most impressive to me was the food. The combination of freshly cooked food, snacks, fruits and desserts was a pleasing attack on the senses.

We returned to the hotel before midnight and said goodbye to Meurig's old students and their family, who had been very kind to us. It was time to get some much needed sleep.

At 7am we were awake again, and my first priority was checking out the breakfast buffet. We could have opted for a Western style breakfast, but I hadn't just travelled halfway around the planet to eat toast, so we went for the Chinese/Japanese buffet. The word 'buffet' doesn't quite do justice to the meal that was served, it was more like a feast. I filled my tray with as many varieties of food as possible: sesame balls, buns, noodles, vegetables, fruit and, of course, freshly made soya milk — mental note to bring soya beans back to England.

After filling my stomach, we headed to the airport to catch our 4th flight in 32 hours to Kaohsiung. This was a relaxed 50 minute flight — just enough time for a cup of Chinese tea (unlike my memorable 50 minute flight on Bangkok Airways where they managed to serve a whole meal). On arrival it seemed that we had a little problem as there was no one to meet us at the airport, but after a chat with the information desk and a phone call we were in business. I bought my first iced tea, and shortly after we were picked up and taken to the hotel. First impressions of Kaohsiung is that it is more relaxed than Taipei, the people seem more friendly and there is a better chance of a smile.

I decided to head to the university with David, the organiser of the conference, which proved to be a very good choice. I got treated to lunch at a Japanese restaurant and met several of his students — he has already got me proof-reading his latest book! It is very friendly in the University and I am sure I will be having a few adventures these next few weeks.

Thought for the day

"A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner, so if one's life is cold and bare he can blame none but himself." — Louis L'Amour

Reverie

Sit in reverie and watch the changing color of the waves

that break upon the idle seashore of the mind.

— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

New PhD Idea

Empirical Modelling and Language: Meaning Without Language

Computer Science and Morality

1. Short history/intro of morality

2. Morality and robotics

3. Morality and software development

4. The discipline of computer science

5.

Going against the grain

I was attending a conference last week where I heard a couple of talks on the topic of 'social norms'. I have heard about the nature of social norms and the speakers have attempted to argue about why we follow social norms. What I think may be more interesting, which has not been discussed, is why some people like to go against social norms. There must be a benefit in not complying to social norms because the norms are the standard way of acting, so there must be a conscious effort to avoid the [internalised] norms. What is this benefit? If there is no benefit then is the person not acting rationally?

To follow social norms is to become a member of a society. Therefore to not follow is to move away from society — either to distance oneself from the society or in order to change the society. It is clear that some groups want to change social norms or change society, for example: women rightfully standing up against society to gain the right to vote.

However, there is another group that do not follow social norms because there is another benefit other than changing society. This is the personal benefit of standing out in the society — being unique. At the current time, society somehow respects people who 'go against the grain' and we see them as powerful. It seems to be a great time to be different.

On Voices

"We are how we act." People get judged on appearances, body language, background and occupation all the time. As we all know, it can be quite foolish to judge people on the surface like this, but we all do it. I have a real weakness for voices! When I begin listening to a speaker, I very quickly make judgements about what they have to say. Sometimes I listen and decide very quickly that this person has nothing interesting to say because their voice just doesn't inspire me to listen. Other times I might hear this amazing female voice and I think she is beautiful before I have even set eyes on her. It is a terrible problem! Can anyone sympathise???

The ego–less programmer

"The competent programmer is fully aware of the strictly limited size of his own

skull; therefore he approaches the programming task in full humility, and among

other things he avoids clever tricks like the plague."

— Edsger Dijkstra

Dependencies vs. Constraints

[This topic came up yesterday at Chris Roe's seminar on dependency. It was particularly well discussed, so I am repeating some of the points that I thought were relevant.]

1. Dependencies are not the same as constraints.

2. Both dependencies and constraints can be thought of as relationships between variables (or observables).

3. Dependencies are relationships that have a direction. If we consider the example of a = b + c then changes to b or c will update a, but not vice-versa. There is no way to change a and effect b or c.

4. Constraints are often multi-directional. If we consider a constraint a = b, then changing b will cause a change to a, and changing a will cause a change to b. The relationship is always maintained.

5. A dependency maintainer is a machine that simply maintains the dependencies at all times. At no point is there a state (that is visible to the user) where a can be any value other than b + c. It is a requirement of dependencies that they are maintained indivisibly.

6. A constraint maintainer is more complicated than a dependency maintainer. Firstly it requires more information about updating constraints. If there is a change to a in a = b + c, then it must decide to update either b or c in order to maintain the constraint. The programmer must understand this to create valid constraints, and must have a knowledge of the constraint maintainance methods. This may lead to undecidability issues when making updates.

Final thoughts from Thailand in 2548

My final day in Thailand is coming to an end. My bags are packed, albeit bursting open from the volume of snacks and sweets I am bringing home. I have said many goodbyes. I have eaten my last big meal. Before I go, here are a few things I am going to miss when I am back in England:

1. Freshly-made warm soya milk in the morning.


2. Motorcycle journeys during rush hour.


3. The variety of smells from the food stalls lining every street.


4. Green buses (but not air-con buses!).


5. Iced green tea from Seven Eleven.


6. Jack fruit, mango and rose apples.


7. Taking a shower four times per day.


8. Seeing a som tam seller on every corner and checking my stomach to see if there is room for more.


9. Saying, "sap bor".


10. Laying in bed and listening to the sound of geckos outside the window.

That is just a small selection. I could stay up all night recalling all of the interesting and exciting things that have occured in the last three weeks, but I think that this is enough to capture the simplicity of things that I find so appealing. Thank you and goodbye to all my friends and family in Thailand.

Feasting out the final few days

The second day of my Uttaradit trip involved an awesome som tam feast with my top Uttaradit students. I also managed to meet a couple of the farang volunteers, some of the Thai teachers and plenty of students. Later in the afternoon we went to the best Pad Thai restaurant in Uttaradit. This continued my feeling that Uttaradit is the best place to eat in Thailand. I'm not sure why it is so good, maybe it is cause I am nearing the end of my trip and I am savouring every mouthful of food before I leave.

I eventually returned to Bangkok late on Friday night, leaving me a few days to meet a few people. Yesterday I went to a vegetarian restaurant which was really good — it is called Koko and is near Siam Centre Point for those that are interested. I had never noticed it before because the sign is written in Thai, but it is definitely worth checking out.

As I finished doing a bit of shopping (actually quite a lot of shopping for a British guy), I exited the large shopping centre and found that the whole street had stopped. I was a bit confused as to what was going on. I was up high on an overpass, and I could see that the road had been cleared and all the traffic stopped in all other directions. The crowds were not moving either, no one was allowed near the road or over it. I looked down the road and it was like this for as far as I could see in both directions. My friend wasn't reacting to this at all. She just calmly told me that it was the Crown Princess going somewhere. Sure enough, a few minutes later there were a string of Mercedes streaming past, one of which was carrying the Crown Princess. I was trying to imagine the logistics of this everytime the royal family wanted to go anywhere. I guess it is not that easy for them to just pop down to Seven Eleven to buy an iced tea! I thought it was quite a special moment witnessing this event. It shows the care and attention that everyone has for the royal family, and the diligence of those planning such events.

Another special thing that happened yesterday was that it rained — just for about 10 minutes. It also rained this morning for a little longer and it actually felt refreshingly cool walking around this morning — until about 10am by which time it was pretty hot again. Today I visited the Isaan girls and had dinner at a great Isaan restaurant at Lad Kra Bang. I am trying to eat som tam everyday at the moment — it is so good. Returning to the city I then had Japanese food for dinner. Tomorrow is the last full day I have so I am going to eat like crazy! I have bought so many sweets and snacks to bring back to England, I am going to have to sort out my case soon and maybe throw out my gay t-shirts to make some room.

Big breakfasts in Uttaradit

After arriving back in Bangkok in the little hours, I got a few hours sleep before catching up with some friends and catching up on eating. Just wandering around Bangkok I wanted to stop at every other food stall to buy something. By the end of the day my stomach was jam packed, but I still managed dinner with the family before getting a lift to the bus station and catching a bus to Uttaradit. As you might have gathered by now, I have had some rather bizarre experiences on buses. This one, however, was the most relaxing and enjoyable — the seats were super comfortable, the air-con was not too fierce and I slept the whole way (except for the usual 2am dinner/breakfast). Arriving in the early morning, Phung's parents picked us up and took me home for a little more sleep and a shower. After we went to the local market to buy some things for breakfast — it is great wandering around markets, one of my favourite activities, it is enough to make even the fullest stomach hungry again. Returning home and Mum had also prepared plenty of food. Breakfast turned out to be the biggest morning feast of this holiday (and maybe this life). It included: sticky rice, mango salad, yam kanoon, pumpkin curry, nam prik, steamed vegetables, boiled eggs, mango, jack-fruit, rose apples, oranges, papaya, kanom tien, and a whole load of other sweet things whose name I cannot remember! After this I needed another sleep.

I woke up to the sound of coconuts being prepared — I had slept for an hour and it was already time to eat again. I could definitely spend a long time here! After eating a few fresh coconuts we headed into town to see a few of the Uttaradit sights, and then it was lunchtime. I was starting to think that maybe heaven existed! But hang on, it gets better. We visited a couple of temples in the afternoon, and then we had a bit of time free. Phung suggested jokingly that we go have a massage. I had always been a bit cautious of getting a massage in Thailand and had never found the courage to do it before, but I knew this time I would be safe. So I went and got my first ever massage in Thailand. It was really good, although it was physically quite exhausting. Phung found it highly amusing to watch me in some of the rather odd positions as the massage woman stretched and twisted my body. I can highly recommend it though.

Afterwards it was time to go home, shower, and of course, eat again. With less than a week left in Thailand, I was making the most of all this great food. Surely I will starve in England next week?

Amazing Thailand: Koh Tao

After spending most of the day travelling, Phung, her friends and myself boarded the bus at 9pm destined for Chumphon. We arrived there at 5am and had to wait 2 hours for the highspeed catamaran to take us to Koh Tao. We boarded the boat as it was starting to get light, and as we departed it was perfect timing to watch the sun rise over the mountains. A couple of hours later we arrived on Koh Tao (literally translated as Turtle Island because it is shaped like a turtle) — many say that this is the most beautiful island in Thailand and it is definitely the most impressive place I have ever been. One of Phung's friends, Pe, was our leader and he had already booked us a bungalow at New Heaven. It is located on the edge of a bay in the south of the island. The accomodation was perfect: halfway up a hill overlooking the bay and clear blue sea. A short walk down some steps and we were on our own private beach, with its own palapa built out from the rocks. A perfect spot for meditation… or sleeping!

The majority of the day I spent swimming, catching up on sleep, and exploring the local area. Its not easy walking around in the blistering heat as the roads are all steep inclines. I noticed that I was no longer special as a farang on this island, and actually the Thais were the special ones — Phung and friends were getting plenty of attention. Thais don't usually come here, and I soon realised why. The prices were still cheap for farang, but having adjusted to being an Isaan (up-country) boy the last couple of weeks, I found it all a bit western. I couldn't believe it the first time we had lunch, the menus were all in English — no Thai — and everything was at least five times more than the rest of Thailand. Farang probably wouldn't notice because it is still cheap, but I was used to much better food out in the country. My biggest shock was going to the internet shop for an hour and getting out 20 baht to pay, and the woman said 120 baht — I nearly fell over! Afterwards I realised that this was probably the first real tourist place I had been to in Thailand and maybe it is the same in all the best tourist spots — I spend all my time in the countryside so I am not familiar with this type of living at all!

In the evening we ate at the restaurant, overlooking the sea which was very beautiful as the sun went down. The we planned activities for the following day…

We woke up early, had a quick breakfast, and donned our swimming shorts. We were picked up by a truck that took us down to the pier. A boat was waiting for us to take us out for the day. The owner of the bungalows had packed us up a picnic (and even I got a special veggie dish), along with life jackets and snorkels. We set off around the island, applying heavy amounts of suncream as the sun was already intent on blackening our skin (something the Thais are not keen on). It was a waste of time though as shortly after it was time for a swim and a snorkel. At this first site there wasn't much to see, so we moved on to the next place. Here the variety of fish was amazing, and you could get really close to swams of them just by holding some pineapple in the water. Back in the boat we were all cowarding under towels, umbrellas and lifejackets to avoid the sun. The Thais find it very funny that farang like to get tanned — they consider it dirty to have black skin as it means you work out in the fields. My usual Thai gossip is about how fat the foreigners are, but here it changed to how black the foreigners are.

After stopping for lunch, our next mooring was at a very unique place — the only place in the world where there are three islands connected by sandy beaches — named Koh Nang Yuen. Two of the islands are small, rocky mountains, so myself and Pe decided to walk up to the top of the smallest. It was well worth it — probably the most spectacular view of my life so far. I have got a few photos to prove it. After this it was time to board the boat back for Koh Tao and relax after a very hot day. The evening was spent singing songs on our private beach and chilling out in the palapa.

The following day we were to depart from Koh Tao in the early afternoon and begin the heavy journey back to the big smoke. We did a bit more lounging around in the morning and spent loads of time posing for photographs. Then we had our last lunch overlooking the sea before heading off.

It is a beautiful place Koh Tao, but it doesn't feel like Thailand. The scenery is amazing, the sea and beaches are perfect, but these things are quite superficial. I realised that the reason I like Thailand is because of the people and the culture.

Summer English Camp

A crazy five days were had at the summer camp for first year students of Uttaradit Ratchaphat University. There were plenty of farang volunteers which was quite weird to start with because I hadn't spoken 'real' English for a while. The Volunthai crew were Michael (our leader), Dan (from Canada), Renee, Anna (both from Netherlands) and myself. Another group of volunteers, three British guys (Dan, Ian and Adam), joined us to ensure that the students only spoke the Queen's English rather than one of the dialects from a lesser known country in the Americas. There were a few farang and Thai teachers also making up the numbers. Then came the students, all sixty of them, of which there were less than 10 boys — and even they were ladyboys.

Each of days were quite varied. We were supposed to get up at 6am for exercise, then breakfast at 7.30am. The morning activities were usually some games or task that required a tiny bit of Engilish. Some of the students spoke quite good English, but for others it was as easy to speak Thai. It was also a shock to meet so many farang that spoke Thai, in fact I felt the odd one out not being able to speak enough Thai. I think this was why the camp was so successful — the students were there to speak English, but also the farang wanted to speak Thai, so it was a great atmosphere for everyone to learn something.

Lunchtime was at 12pm and then every afternoon we went out on a trip. We visited the beach at Cha-am (twice!), including a ride on a banana boat for some of the braver girls. Another afternoon we went to the royal palace of Kng Rama 6, and another we went to some gardens that were part of a royal project. Dinner back at the camp at 6pm, followed by activities in the main hall the rest of the evening. One night was a newspaper fashion contest. At the start of the week us volunteers had been assigned a group to work with which I had named "The Gecko" and later I established a group chant:

"Team gecko, team gecko, team gecko,

let's go eat some mosquito!"

The evening of the fashion contest, the group had to nominate a model. I thought this was going to be a difficult task because there were plenty of pretty girls, but it wasn't at all — they picked me! For the next hour I had various items of cloithing made out of newspaper attached to my body (including a grass skirt and bikini). The result was quite impressive, as were the other groups — it is amazing what you can do with newspaper. However, when it came to walking the cat-walk I think the gay training I have had recently (and all that moisturiser) really paid off. I was crowned Miss Newspaper 2005, and the group won a huge box of biscuits which was much more important.

By the end of the week I had built-up a good relationship with all my group and especially the girls from house six: Min, Pang, Tao, and Shi (you all need to practice your English!). The volunteers were great fun too. Hope to see you all again sometime.

On the final day we all went our separate ways, but a few of us went with the students to the floating market. Dan and myself got on a boat with a group of girls and caused some fun trying to sell ourselves to other boats — the word for foreigner (farang) is the same word as a type of Thai fruit. We had plenty of offers! After this I had to find my way back to Bangkok with Dan. It had been a tiring week, but it had gone so quickly and it would have been nice to spend more time with our new friends from Uttaradit.

In the heart of the northeast

The next morning I got up at 6am to find everyone else up — out in the countryside it is usual to get up before sunrise. After breakfast and showering, the daughter of the family I was staying with decided to go for a trip to visit their aunt and uncle who I had met the previous year. I thought we were going for a short trip, but as we boarded our third bus/songthaew I was starting to realise the mistake I had made. It was an especially hot day, and after lunch, I made a further mistake of agreeing to walk around during the hotest part of the day. We visited a very pretty temple and some beautiful gardens, but when we returned to the house after the walk I was soaking from sweat. Luckily the aunt told me to take a shower which was really great! You wouldn't realise how amazing a cold shower can be!

On the way home to Ban Yang Noi we took the air-con bus. I had got one of these buses on the same route yesterday and it cost me 20 baht (travelling as a lone farang). Today, the exact same journey cost 20 baht for two people. Farang got cheaper overnight!

The final day in Ubon we got up a little earlier and left in the cooler part of the day for Wat Pah Pong. It was no easy task going to this forest temple on public transport (compared to last year when I did the 60 kilos on a moped). After paying our respects to Luang Puu Chah we headed back to the city where we had lunch before taking yet another bus home.

A few hours later I had to board the bus destined for Bangkok, and once again I was quite sad to leave this village in Ubon. It is one of the most homely places for me in Thailand — it is so simple and so natural. On the overnight bus, as usual, all the Thais got the blankets out to keep warm from the air-con. Being British I usually refrain from blankets and take pleasure in telling the Thais that it is no where near as cold as England. However, on this journey the brand new bus was ice-cold, and within 15 minutes I too was shivering under a blanket! It was so cold I couldn't sleep. I eventually got to sleep in the early hours, and then shortly after we stopped for breakfast — at 2am! To think I had paid extra for what are called VIP buses — and a reminder of how cold it is in England! The bus then arrived at 4am in Bangkok and I was so pleased that the warm air still greeted me at this ungodly hour. I got some real sleep until 9am, when I got a call from Michael that we were to meet in an hour to leave for the summer camp at Hua Hin. I just had time to shower and forget my clean underwear before heading off!

Speaking Isaan

Sometimes it is best to accept that you are going to get charged higher prices as a farang. It doesn't bother me to pay extra, but I don't like being ripped off! Ubon bus station, I found out later, is well known for this amongst locals. I got off the bus at Ubon at 11am and instantly I had a swarm of taxi drivers around me trying to find out where I wanted to go. It didn't help that I wasn't quite sure myself, and the leader of the group took advantage of this. I thought it would be best to head down to the nearest market and then I could find some friendly locals to help me. I told the head guy that I wanted to go to the market and he said this was very far away and would cost a lot of money. I asked about a few other places and eventually settled for the nearest market which apparently was still 20 minutes away, and so we settled on a price of 50 baht. The head guy got me a driver and sent us on our way. I could tell something was up as the driver wasn't very friendly, and sure enough a few minutes later the driver told me we had arrived. We had not even been in the car 5 minutes. I told him this wasn't the right place, it was a tiny market down some back alley! The driver didn't have much to say and remained quiet. I told him what I thought of him and his leader! Even with my limited Thai, I managed quite well to get mad for the first time in Thai. It was a useful experience in itself. Anyway, once I got out into the market it wasn't so bad. I got some lunch and wander around buying lots of fruit. The locals found me quite interesting as they obviously don't get foreigners around here. I got a much cheaper tuk-tuk back to the bus station and jumped straight on a bus to the small village 30 kilometres out of Ubon.

When I arrived at the village, several people said hello to me; either they knew I was coming or they remembered me from last year. At the house I said hello to the Mother and headed straight for the shower. For the next few hours I practiced more Thai, mixed with a lot of Isaan words. I visited Aunt and Grandma, getting completely confused about what they were saying. When the children got home from school we went for a trip around the village and said hello to more people, and then we returned home for a lovely dinner of rice and fruit.

Travelling by bus

Unlike the UK, travelling by bus is quicker than by train, and therefore it is more expensive. You might wonder why you would go by bus when you can enjoy the views if travelling by train on a much cheaper fare. I think the reason is that travelling by bus is part of the Thai education system that encourages the cultivation of fearlessness — travelling by bus is an experience that is bound to frighten even the most care-free individuals.

The long distance air-con buses are the fastest vehicle on the road, even when over-packed with passengers. As I boarded the bus at 4.30am this morning and saw the young eager driver edging to get going, I knew I was in for a special treat. Luckily for me I was only 2 seats from the front so I would be able to watch all the action. I slept for a couple of hours until the feeling of bones being rattled by the bus traversing the pot holes became too intense to sleep. The further northeast you go, the worse the roads get. The roads become more like a series of potholes; most drivers slow down to avoid them, but the bus drivers just glide (?) straight over them. To maintain this high speed compared to the other vehicles on the road, there needs to be a lot of overtaking. Bus drivers are either very skilled at overtaking or they are just plain crazy. The bus spends as much time on the opposite side of the road as it does in its lane. The general lack of discipline in Thai driving works to the advantage of the buses which just weave in and out of the oncoming traffic. Any mistakes (or near misses) are accepted and other drivers are very good at nearly driving off the road to avoid the bus.

Another bus I travelled in we had several very near misses within the first 10 minutes of being on the bus. The driver was obviously a little concerned, so he stopped and bought some flowers that he placed around the Buddha image in his bus. He took off again at high-speed, safe in the knowledge that this simple offering will ensure a safe journey. Sure enough, we arrived in one piece.

The countryside life

The lazy farang woke up late again this morning and found that everyone had gone to work except father. Luckily I had been left some sweet sticky rice for breakfast so I could relax and plan my day. I decided to head to the school first and meet some of the teachers. The school is only a 15 minute walk from the house, and the weather was not too hot yet, so I was looking forward to a nice walk. However, most Thai people cannot understand that a farang would want to walk anyway. Walking as far as the end of the road is quite rare. Father asked me to take the bicycle, but I said I would walk. So he decided he should take me by car. As I was trying to explain that I liked walking he had already got the car ready. I feel so lazy going to the school by car! Especially as I am eating so much, I need as much exercise as possible. :)

At school I met a few of the teachers from last year and one teacher asked me to join her for lunch at her house, with her daughter. It was not even 11am and we were already preparing to eat lunch! I enjoyed some delicious vegetarian 'pad thai' that was prepared for me and then a table full of desserts! I had sticky rice — my second of the day — and mango which was really good. By the time I had finished I was really full, so we sat around talking and I learnt a little Thai from the teacher's daughter.

In the afternoon we went for a drive in the countryside to visit some temples. First one was in some caves, where just one old monk lived. He was quite a character, telling stories about someone coming to steal money from the temple last night, and how he could sense that there was someone around. We met a guy that wanted to take me on a temple tour, but I politely declined! Next stop was another temple, which was in a small village. A typical wat baan! I knew this was going to be amusing when I saw the large speakers in the sala which are obviously used for playing music late in the night (I wonder if they show movies at this temple). As we approached the sala and went to wai the monk dressed in dark red robes (?!?), I also spotted a room next door where there was a large television. I could see that inside there was nice comfortable sofas on which monks were sitting watching daytime television. Quite a different life compared to The Forest Hermitage in England!

Next stop was at one of the family's houses where they grow lots of mangos and bananas. It was really pretty and I enjoyed walking around before taking a nap. In Thailand it is quite acceptable to just take a nap at anytime, just find a chair or table to lie on and get some rest. In fact it seems to be expected that you need to take a nap. Something quite alien to us English who rarely sleep during the day. Later on we had some food (tom yam hed aroi mahk mahk) before returning home. I visited my friends at the vegetarian restaurant again, where I tried a little bit of the dish of the day. By this time I really didn't want any food but politeness got the better of me! Once again the main activity of the day was eating, and once again I promise that tomorrow I will try to eat a little less — these t-shirts are getting even tighter!

Bus journeys

Yesterday I finally made the journey to Chaiyaphum after a bit of confusion the previous day. I got down to bus station fairly early in the morning and bought a ticket for the next bus. I had a half hour to wait, so I went and sat down in front of the bay from which the bus would be leaving from. The time passed fairly quickly just people watching, but no bus arrived. I was very calm about this and not really worried. I asked someone a few minutes before it was due to leave and they said I was in the right place. So I waited a bit longer. Luckily a few minutes later someone asked me what I was waiting for, so I told them where I was going and they told me where the bus was. Not actually in its correct bay, but 20 bays away! I rushed over to the bus, and managed to get on just before it was leaving. I was just sitting down feeling a little relieved but not too flustered when I caught sight of another bus that was parked next to ours which was heading for my destination and was now leaving. I suddenly had this really worrying feeling because this bus I had just got on had no place names in English on the side, and I didn't have time to read the Thai. I tried to read the Thai in the window on my bus and it was not the destination I wanted! I was just starting to relax and get used to the fact that I didn't know what province I was going to end up in when the ticket man came around. I said to him, 'rot may pai chaiyaphum mai krub', meaning 'bus go chaiyaphum does it?'. The two words he said next were the best thing I heard all day: 'krub pom'. I was so pleased to hear those words that confirmed I was actually going to Chaiyaphum!

The bus journey itself got even more eventful as I was chatting with the passengers most of the journey. That is 5 hours of talking in Thai. I estimate I probably understood about 10 minutes of it. I was in a good mood and getting offered drinks and snacks. This woman even opened this huge bag of snacks which I am sure she bought as a gift to take home. She offered this snack, which looked like crisps, to me and asked what it was (always a good idea). I couldn't understand what she said but it definitely wasn't fried pork, so I thought it must be vegetarian. I pulled out a decent size crisp and confidently bit into it. How wrong could I have been?!? It tasted fowl, and definitely wasn't vegetarian. Being polite I finished what I had begun. Then I took a look at the packet: Fried fish. Mental note, be more careful in future!

On arriving I headed down to the market and had some fun buying up loads of fruit and sweets. Then I got a motorcycle and told him to drive, as I couldn't remember the name of any of the roads in Chaiyaphum. I directed him to the vegetarian restaurant where I went in and gave the owners some fruit. They brought me out loads of vegetarian food which I gladly ate after eating only snacks on the bus. When I finished I walked back to the house of the family were I stayed last year, and where I would be staying once more. They had also been to the market and bought up lots of food, so I sat through another meal!

To be continued… :)

Uncertainty

Life is unpredictable in Thailand. Combine this with my lack of communication skills in Thai, and everything becomes uncertain. I have this special skill of agreeing to things even if I don't understand. In taxis this isn't usually a problem, but if you are trying to organise what you are going to do for the day then it can make things quite interesting. When I am speaking Thai, I am so pleased if I can understand a little bit of what is said, that I don't worry so much about the whole conversation. Therefore, I might just pick up that I am going to Chaiyaphum tomorrow, but not the time or meeting place. You might gather this leads to quite a bit of uncertainty!

However, uncertainty is not such a bad thing. It means you have to be ready for anything, be able to change your plans at the drop of a hat, and be on your feet at all times. The Thai people are masters at this, and people in England are probably the worst! We are a stubborn nation who like to stick to our plans and not make positive changes in our lives. Things change very slowly in England (jing jing). It is not so easy to get things done. In Thailand it seems that anything is possible, not so many restrictions, uncertainty is common, and change is acceptable. Some might argue that the comfort of living is better in England, but somehow the people of Thailand come across as being more comfortable with their lives. My feeling towards this is that Thai people appear happier possibly because they are better at coping with the uncertainty of life, and are more accepting of change. If you are always alert and ready for anything then how can you be disappointed? You just deal with it.

The result of this is that I might be going to Chaiyaphum tomorrow — but anything could happen!

The beginnings of a gay wardrobe

Yesterdays taxi journeys were a significant improvement on previous days. Only a few near misses, and no very near misses! The technique seems to be to get the taxi driver talking, and their driving style improves. This is quite difficult with my limited Thai, but the trick is to pick a topic that they can talk about that you can just agree with — without having to understand what they are saying. Here are my suggestions:

1. English football — Generally all Thais know more about English football than I do, but the trick here is to mention a team (starting with a big team like Chelsea) and then the taxi driver will automatically start saying the names of some famous players in that team. It doesn't usually matter if you have never heard of that player, just agree with enthusiasm and say 'dee dee' a few times to mean that he is a good player. Now once you have exhausted one team, just move on to another. Just sit back and watch your taxi driver relax, he will get you to your destination quicker and without incident. The next trick is to switch to a lesser known team, and then when your driver doesn't know, start reeling off a list of random names of players. No doubt he will agree with you that these are great players too!


2. English taxi prices — One of the favourite questions asked by the driver is how much taxis cost in England. They are amazed at the price of things in England, and this conversation can be continued on the price of other things. Be careful on this topic as your driver might expect a big tip.


3. Temples (for advanced passengers only!) — If you manage to get on to this topic with the right driver then you can get him talking the whole journey. The conversation starter is to ask about any photos of monks in the taxi — there are always some. With the right words you can ask where the monk comes from and then you are away. Yesterday, I had a 45 minute ride across Bangkok and the driver didnt stop talking about monks the whole way. I just kept agreeing! He drove superbly!

Back to yesterdays activities, I went to the Chatuchak weekend market. For those of you that have never heard of it, I think it must be the biggest market in the world. I get lost after being there for five minutes. However, I did manage to buy a few t-shirts as I didn't bring too much with me. The only problem was that, Thais being a little smaller than Westerners, the sizes are a bit small. I bought a load of t-shirts anyway, and now I am thinking they are a bit tight. Well, they fit ok, but only the way gay guys wear them! This is much more acceptable in Thailand though, so I should be ok.

Right, I've got to fly. It is nearly time for the next meal. :)

Ant's taxi journeys: Part II

Maybe I am getting more taxis than usual, but I am sure that I am attracting the unsafe drivers. I got in a taxi this evening and within one minute of being in the car, we were millimetres away from an accident. I am beginning to think that motorcycles might be a safer form of transport — I shall report on my progress tomorrow.

This morning I woke up very late, and had to rush to get ready to go out with Grandma. We went for lunch first (a Chinese restaurant called Yee Lao) and then to Wat Ratchabophit. After meeting one of the monks, Tahn Tou, we headed out of town to the massage doctor. He was quite a character and kept speaking to me in Thai. After a few minutes he would ask if I understood. I said, "a little", which was clearly an over-exageration, and then he would continue.

On the way back to Bangkok we visited the memorial of Phanthai Norasing, a soldier famous for being executed because he crashed the King's boat. Nice temples around there — Samut Sakhon.

Back in Bangkok I went to meet Te and Bow (the countryside girl!). We walked around Wat Sutayt and then went for more food. Then we finished the evening off with a quick walk down Khao San road, which allowed me to laugh at the farang and check out the dek nao. Bow taught me some funky northern words that I will be trying out on the Thais in England to see if they are up to date!

I got a haircut

After managing a good 3 hours sleep on Wednesday, I woke up at 5.30am and packed the final things into my bag. A taxi was waiting for me at 6.15am to take me to Coventry bus station, before boarding a bus destined for Heathrow (Taxi time: 10 mins; Taxi cost: 8 pounds; this will be relevant later!). I was a bit worried I was going to arrive at the airport late as there was some snow around London, but my luck was running high and I was actually early. This left me loads of space time at the airport with which I could practice 'shopping without spending money' — a skill which should be taught at primary school. Thai airways were running on Thai time as we didn't board until take-off time.

Once I got onto the plane it started to sink in that I was off to Thailand again. I picked up a Thai paper as I boarded, which later the airhostesses took to mean I spoke fluent Thai. As usual I really wanted to sit next to someone Thai, but as usual I had to sit next to a farang. After he had explained the chemical properties of concrete for an hour I was well ready for some sleep. I managed to throw some unexciting veggie food down into my willing stomach before drifting off.

Soon after there was more food and drink flowing around, a film or two to keep us entertained, and a further explanation of how to turn soil into concrete using an acrylic compound. Sleep followed.

It was nice flying into Bangkok in the morning; the light from a busy city beginning to wake up. Once on the ground I found that my mobile worked, my cash card worked and I was able to top up with both money and phone credit. I walked up to departures, out into the street, and jumped in a taxi. Within a few minutes I remembered why Mum had told me to get travel insurance — driving in Bangkok is an experience even for the most lucid of passengers. Only 45 minutes and I arrived at my Thai family's house. It only cost 2 pounds, and I would have paid that much to talk to the driver as he was a bit of a character. One of my favourite conversations with taxi drivers is how much taxis cost in England — I think they have this idea that taxi drivers are rich people in our country.

At home I had kanom krok waiting for me — one of my favourite breakfasts. It was good to meet Natee's family again and be made so welcome once more. I took a nap and then had a wash before thinking what I was going to do today. I called up a few people and found Matt was ready to finish school for the day. So I got a taxi down to his place and we went to eat some lunch. Oh, and I also got an iced tea on the way — marvelous. We ate, drank and talked for a few hours, and then I wandered around the street for a while. I walked past a hairdressers, and I couldn't resist. Previously I had been a bit concerned about going in Thai hairdressers, as usually they usually seem to produce 'gay' haircuts. This one looked ok though, there was only one guy in there and he didn't look too gay, so I took my chance. I walked in, said hello and sat down. Out came a ladyboy smiling and gesticulating to see if I wanted a haircut or a massage. I think she/he was a bit disappointed I was after the former. Anyway, she/he got her way cause they washed my hair first. This is the first time I have had my hair washed in the hairdresser too — another dodgy sign. Anyway, I actually got quite a good haircut. A considerable difference to when I let big sis do it last month. ;)

After this I got a taxi home. It took me ages to find a taxi cause I was standing in all the wrong places, and also cause it was rush hour by this time. I was thinking of getting a motorcycle, but then I saw an accident, and remembering my lack of travel insurance, I decided to stick it out for a taxi. When I finally got one, we did one intersection and had to wait 15 minutes for traffic lights. At the next intersection the driver had lost any ounce of mindfulness he had by hitting a kerb (and kurbs are often a foot high in Bangkok) which gave him a puncture. Actually we were lucky we didn't hit any oncoming cars. I could see it all before it happened and just wanted to help him with the steering wheel, but it wasn't his day. I paid the fare on the meter and then had the task of finding another cab. It was a bit easier this time and this driver was a bit more diligent, getting me home in nearly no time.

After another sleep, the best part of the day arrived: dinner time. Gaeng som — another of my favourites — was ready and waiting along with lots of other yummy dishes. As usualy I did justice to each of the dishes, and also to my stomach. It has been a long day and now my bed is calling me. :)